Your Family Will Hate You Less If You Do This Before You Die

Because nothing says "I Love You" like not leaving them with 97 subscription services they can't cancel.

📬 Tie up loose ends. No mystery bills, pets, or lovers.

🔐 Your passwords. Your bank accounts. Your OnlyFans. All accounted for. No family drama. No awkward discoveries. Just peace (and plausible deniability).

💀 Your funeral? You get to call the shots. Want bagpipes and Beyoncé? Write it down now or prepare for a beige send-off.

🏅 You get posthumous bragging rights. Die a legend. Not a liability.

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Yes, send me a humorous reminder to fill this out because I can't be trusted when it comes to adulting.

“Thanks to ICE, my kids didn’t have to fight over my Beanie Baby collection. They just sold it and bought weed. I’m proud.”

Nancy P., Resting High in Peace

“I didn’t think I’d die. Then I did. Now I haunt my ex with zero paperwork guilt.”

— Uncle Lou, Ghost with Boundaries

“This was the last responsible thing I did before retiring from adulthood entirely.”

— Tina J., Boundary-Setting Icon